AI and the Apocalypse of Self-Publishing (Sort Of)

Or: How I Learned to Get Over my Introvert Nature and Fight for the Human Brain

Let’s get right to it: AI in self-publishing is like that new vampire in town — flashy, a little too smooth, and probably here to steal your thunder and your readers… at least for a while, because as any good villain, this specific vampire will show its true colors at the last possible moment, giving us a chance to save the damsel.

Or in this case, the disillusioned readers.

Tools like ChatGPT and Sudowrite have opened up a world of creative shortcuts, and while some of that tech is incredibly helpful (hello typo patrol, hello first self-edit to get the red pencil rolling), there’s a darker side slithering around the Kindle store.

We’re talking fully AI-written novels. Cheap covers spat out by algorithms. Dialogue that reads like a toaster had an existential crisis– and decided to let a panini oven write some lines about it.

And the worst part? They’re clogging up the charts like glitter in a carpet — sparkly, annoying, and nearly impossible to get rid of. (Not my metaphor, but I liked it because it’s true!)

I’ve seen readers burned by “books” that turned out to be machine-generated sludge. I’ve seen authors fighting to get their work noticed while bots pump out 12 lifeless vampire romances a week. (With titles like Bitten by Billionaire Blood Daddy, no less. I mean, how many cliches can you add to one book title?)

It’s disheartening. It’s infuriating. It’s also a reminder of why real stories — messy, emotional, human stories — matter more than ever. Because you know what AI can’t do? Bleed. Yearn. Obsess. Ache. Write a love scene that makes you want to scream into a pillow (in the good way). That’s human. That’s us.

Now if us blood-bearing authors only knew how to beat the machine, that would be great! Until that glorious moment, I do want to assure our shaken readers: we’re not going anywhere. And we will do our best to make sure you get the books you deserve again. I’m not sure how, yet, but we will.

Stay sharp. Stay weird. And don’t let the robots bite.

~ Hannah